


Pressure

by zebraljb



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF
Genre: First Time, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 14:50:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18033761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zebraljb/pseuds/zebraljb
Summary: Armie comes to stay with Timothee while auditioning for his first Broadway play.  Timothee tells him about a massage...and he gets jealous.This is my first Charmie, although I've been writing fanfiction for years. I'm nervous and I'm afraid it shows...please be patient. :)





	Pressure

PRESSURE

“Armie!” The door flies open and slender arms go around him. “It’s so good to see you!”

“Hey, Timmy.” Armie welcomes the embrace, kissing the top of the curly head. “How are you?”

“Great! Come in, come in.” Timothee steps aside and lets Armie through the door. “Lemme take that.”

“No, it’s fine, it’s fine, I have it.” Armie shoulders his duffle. “Just tell me where to put it.”

“Guest room’s right this way, but lemme give you the grand tour,” Timothee says with an excited grin. “This, obviously, is the living room.”

Armie looks around the large room done in red and grey, theater and musical posters on the walls. “I love the colors.”

“I know, right? It’s different, but, you know me.” Timothee shrugs. “Kitchen’s right there, fully stocked, take whatever you want whenever you want…just don’t ask me to cook it.”

“Still haven’t learned how to do anything but boil water?”

“Not my fault…I’m busy,” Timothee whines endearingly, and Armie ruffles his hair. “Bathroom right here…blue towels are yours. Here’s the guest room.” Timothee opens a door. 

“Wow, this is nicer than most hotels I’ve stayed at.” Armie drops his bag on the bed.

“My sister helped me decorate it…I love the colors.” Timothee runs a hand over the sea green bedspread. “Wait until you see MY room.” He leads Armie down the hall to a closed door. “Voila.”

“Wow.” The room is done in greens and browns, warm and comforting. The color actually reminds Armie a bit of Timothee’s eyes, but of course he won’t say that. “It’s beautiful.”

“Yeah…I love this room. I spend hours in here when I’m actually around.” He takes Armie back into the hall. “Bathroom in here, of course, so yeah.” He spins around. “Home sweet home!”

“Your last place was nice.”

“My last place was a shithole, Armie,” Timothee says with his boisterous laugh. “You don’t have to be polite. This is…well, it sounds cheesy, but it’s my first grown-up apartment. I wanted it to have that feeling of home…where I could leave all the bullshit outside the door and come in and relax.”

“You definitely have it,” Armie says, looking around. “I wish my first “grown-up” apartment had been this nice.”

Timothee snorts and leads him back into the common area. “Want a drink? I have beer…soda…water…”

“Bottle of water is fine.” Armie knows Timothee and is ready for the bottle that comes flying at his face. “Now how would I have explained that to the producers of the play?”

“I’m sure you would have charmed them no matter what.” Timothee plops down on the sofa with his own bottle of water and Armie follows suit. “Broadway, man…that’s so exciting!”

“Yeah, I know. I’m nervous as hell.” Armie plays with the label on his water bottle. “Thanks for letting me stay here, Timmy. I could have stayed at a hotel…”

“No way! You need to be as comfortable as possible for this audition, and staying in someone’s home is much better than a hotel.” 

“Well, I mean it. Thank you.” Armie squeezes Timothee’s shoulder and he winces. “Sorry! Was that too hard? Didn’t know my own strength.”

“Nah, not you…a friend gave me a gift certificate for a massage and I went yesterday. Apparently I hold a lot of tension in my neck and shoulders, and he really gave me a rubdown.” Timothee rolls his shoulder a bit. “Felt fantastic.”

“A massage?”

Timothee nods. “Never really had one, like at a spa or whatever?” 

“Yeah, yeah.”

“It hurt like hell…I am REALLY tight. Guy told me I should try to get one on a regular basis, so it’s not as bad.” 

“You, uh, had a male masseuse?” Armie hates how awkward he sounds.

“Yeah…guy was huge…maybe your size?” Timothee says with a wink. “Coulda snapped me in half with his bare hands. But he was great…explained everything he was doing every time he put his hands on me.”

“Oh.” Armie takes a huge gulp of his water.

“So…what do you wanna do for dinner? I don’t have much here in the way of actual food…we could order in? There is a FANTASTIC Chinese place right around the corner. Lemme look for the menu.” Timothee bounces off the sofa before Armie can respond.

Armie’s thankful for the moment alone. He’s been worried about this visit ever since Timothee invited him to stay, even though he couldn’t find it in his heart to say no when Timothee asked. He seemed so excited to have Armie see his new place, to spend time with him. And that’s what Armie’s been avoiding for months…spending time with Timothee Chalamet, one of his dearest friends. After filming ended on ‘Call Me By Your Name,’ after the press tour was done and the awards season was over, he’d been lost. He’d wandered around the house aimlessly, according to his wife, until she’d finally sat him down and asked him to talk to her.

 

“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I’m just…it’s like something is missing. I’m happy with you, with the kids, but…something’s just not there.”

“Oh, Armie,” Liz said, sighing. “You’re pining.”

“Pining.”

“Yes. You miss someone.”

“What? No!” Armie was shocked. “Liz, there wasn’t…I’d never…”

“Of course not…not intentionally.” She smiled at him. “You two were inseparable for so long. I love watching you together…it’s adorable.”

“The two of who?”

“You and Timmy, silly.”

“What?” Armie blinked at her. “Me and Timmy? You’re the one who’s silly, sweetheart.”

“Armie, you were honest with me long ago about your occasional relationships with other men. You told me back then that it didn’t happen often, and it was only when you had a definite connection with them.”

“Right.” Armie could count those relationships on one hand.

“You cannot deny you had chemistry…that the connection is there. You care about him so much, and he adores you. It’s so obvious.”

“Liz…”

“Whenever you’re ready, when the opportunity presents itself, you have my blessing.” She kissed his forehead. “Maybe if you just admit this to yourself, you won’t be searching so desperately.”

 

And now here he is, feeling that connection all over again and not knowing what to do about it. Timothee is just as charming, just as beautiful, just as…Timmy. And Armie is feeling lost in an entirely new way. “Here it is.” Timothee tosses him the menu and sits back down. “Whatever you want. On me.”

“Wow, thanks,” Armie says with a grin. “Guess you’re the man now, huh?”

“Hardly,” Timothee says with a sigh. He picks at the label on his bottle of water, looking dejected.

“Timmy?” Armie immediately moves to sit next to him with the menu in his hand, forgetting all about himself and his feelings. “What happened? Did someone say something, or was there a problem on your last set, or…”

“Jeez, Armie, reel in the big brother stuff for a minute!” Timmy says with a laugh.

“Oh, yeah. Right. Sorry.” Big brother. Of course.

“I’m fine. I just…I’m all over the place now, right? What do they call me? ‘The Internet’s Boyfriend?’ That’s all well and good, I mean, for the most part the fans are sweet. But I just…that’s not why I got into this business.”

“Timmy,” Armie say seriously. “Yeah, I’m going to sound like a big brother for a minute, but I’m serious. What the fans see…what they know…is this.” He draws a circle around his own face with a finger. “They know this.” He does the same to Timmy’s head. “What they don’t know, is this.” He puts a hand over his heart, and his other hand on Timmy’s. He can feel the gentle throbbing in Timmy’s slender chest and swallows hard. “They will never know all of you, get all of you. They only get what you give them. You are an actor. You’re not a ‘performer.’ You’re a serious actor, a good one. Pretty boys don’t get Oscar nods with their first fucking starring role. If they want to drool over your gorgeous face, let them. You focus on what’s important.”

“Wow, man.” Timothee chuckles a bit, looking nervous. “That was…that was deep, Armie. I’m impressed.”

Armie notices that he’s unconsciously inched closer, pressing his body to Armie’s arm. “Well, I’ve been getting my psych degree online in my spare time,” he says with a chuckle.

Timothee looks up into his eyes, the expression on his face unreadable. “So, um, I have a question for you…”

“Shoot,” Armie says nervously. Timothee’s still pressed against him, gorgeous eyes huge, lips pink and inviting. Armie orders his body to relax, to stay still. His cock, as usual, does not obey and decides to start plumping up. 

“Are you…” Timothee rubs the back of his neck. “Are you hungry?”

Armie feels a surprising slap of disappointment. He’s not sure what he was expecting…or should he say hoping…Timothee would say. “If you are.”

“Let’s figure it out, I’ll call.” He leans across Armie’s lap to reach for the menu. Armie winces as Timothee’s forearm presses right against his erection. He pulls back, eyes wide.

“I’m sorry. I just…I’m sorry?” Armie babbles.

“Armie…what…”

“Let’s order.” He swipes the menu from Timothee’s hand. “Let’s see…oooh, lo mein. I think that sounds good.”

“Armie.” Timothee’s voice is firm. “You called me pretty. And gorgeous.”

“Of course. Because you are.”

“You…you’re hard.”

“Yes.” Armie feels his face blaze. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re…you’re hard because of me?”

Armie really wishes Timothee hadn’t been raised to satisfy his curiosity no matter what. Armie’s parents would have had a fit if he’d ever asked so many questions. “I…yes.” Timothee’s mouth falls open, pink lips in a perfect O. “It’s not the first time,” Armie admits with a sigh. He jumps to his feet and Timothee almost falls off the sofa. “I…look, Timmy, I know we were both adults when we filmed, but to me…you were very much Elio. So young and impressionable. I developed feelings for you even then, but I’d never act on them.”

“But your…Liz…”

“Liz is my wife and she loves me…much more than I deserve. And I love her. We’ve had many talks about our past relationships, what we’ve done. She knows that I’ve had a few male lovers in the past.” Timothee’s mouth drops open even further. “Not just sex,” Armie says quickly. “Please understand that. I need to actually feel something for the man I’m with.” He paces back and forth across the living room.

“And you…feel something…for me?”

“Timothee,” Armie whispers. “Of course I do.” He runs his hands through his hair in frustration. “The making of the film, everything that came later…I loved it so much. I loved getting to know you, getting to spend time with you, figure you out. I loved how warm and friendly you were, how full of joy and life. And you’re so fucking beautiful, Jesus.” Armie sighs. “But what is most important to me is our friendship…that means more than anything. I know you don’t…you aren’t…but it’s out there now, and I needed to be honest with you.”

“So…you have feelings for me, that are, like, romantic as well as sexual.”

“Yes.”

“And Liz knows all this…knows you feel this way about ME?”

“She’s the one that helped me figure it out, actually…I was so lost. You know how highly she thinks of you.”

Timothee stands as well and puts his hand on Armie’s shoulder to stop his pacing. “I have dreams of you,” he blurts out. “A lot. All the time when we were filming…fuck, all the time.”

“Timmy, don’t say this stuff because you want me to feel better.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Timothee glares at him. “I wouldn’t patronize you that way. You are one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever seen…naked or in Eighties’ short shorts or in a tuxedo. You are brilliant and kind and nerdy and witty. I…”

“Timmy, have you ever…have you been with a man?” The words sound insane, but then again, so does the entire conversation. Armie takes a swig of his water.

“Yes,” Timothee says defiantly. “And no, I don’t just mean hand jobs in the back of a limo, although I’ve done that, too. I mean actual cock in ass fucking.” Armie’s water spews across the room. “You’re cleaning that up,” Timothee says mildly.

“Timmy, Christ, you can’t just SAY that kind of thing,” Armie says weakly. 

“Armie, do you care about me as more than a friend,” Timothee asks softly. Armie slowly nods, unable to keep from telling the truth. “Are you attracted to me?”

“Fuck, yes,” Armie whispers.

Timothee takes his hand and leads him back to the sofa, sitting him down. He straddles his waist, a position they’re both very familiar with. “I care about you as more than a friend.” Timothee gently licks at Armie’s lips. “I’m attracted to you.” His hands slide through Armie’s hair and suddenly they’re kissing, warm passionate kisses that take Armie back to Crema, to Italy, to days when he wished Luca would never say cut.

“I was jealous when you said you had a massage,” Armie admits against Timothee’s lips. “I hate the thought of another man having his hands on you…which is ridiculous.”

“Isn’t ridiculous.” Timothee takes Armie’s bottom lip between his teeth and pulls it. “What’s ridiculous is that we’re talking in the living room while we could be doing something else in the bedroom.” Timothee stands up and removes his shirt, dropping it to the floor.

“Timmy,” Armie says in a strangled voice, staring at the beautiful chest and stomach in front of him. “I…don’t you think we SHOULD talk?”

“What is there to say?” Timothee gives him a gentle smile, touching his cheek. “Armie, I love you so much…just in general. As a person. I admire you, I want to BE you. This…this is a different kind of love, true, but we don’t need to make it more difficult than it is.”

“I can’t…I can’t be yours completely.” Armie slowly stands up and spans Timothee’s slender waist with his hands. “I don’t want either of us to pay for this one way or another.”

Timothee smiles. “Reduced to spouting dialogue, now, are we? Is that what I do to you?” He stands on tiptoe and wraps himself around Armie as much as he can. “Catch me,” he murmurs, and Armie barely has time to think before Timothee’s jumping and he’s grabbing Timothee under his backside, long legs going around his waist. “It’s not like I’m gonna tell anyone…you’re not gonna get in any trouble.” 

“I think I will get into a great deal of trouble,” Armie whispers, looking into Timothee’s beautiful eyes. “Trouble spelled T-I-M-M-Y.”

“Only the good kind of trouble.” Timothee tenderly kisses him. “Armie, if this isn’t what you want…if it will mess YOU up in any way…”

“No, I just…I’m still in shock, I think.” Armie slowly lowers him to the ground. “You are so special.”

“So are you.” 

Timothee looks up at him with such love, such adoration, that Armie cannot come up with any more arguments. Timothee’s slender hand slides into his and he leads Armie to his bedroom. “I don’t…I hope you have…I didn’t exactly come prepared,” Armie says once the door closes behind them.

“Don’t worry, Armie.” Timothee’s quick hands make short work of his shirt. “Jesus, I forgot how beautiful you are.” His hands run up through the hair on Armie’s chest before moving to flick at his nipples. 

They undress each other quickly, hands roaming over each other’s bodies as if relearning an instrument. With every kiss, every caress, Timothee arches up to him more and more, back almost completely bending as Armie touches his cock for the first time. “Timothee,” Armie whispers, face buried in Timothee’s neck.

“Please, Armie…please,” Timothee whispers, pulling him back by his hair and kissing him. “I need you inside me.”

Armie wants to pay attention to every single moment, file it away in his brain. This has been years in the making and he wants it to last…but it almost seems as if it’s over in an instant. His fingers working Timothee open as he kisses the smooth chest. Timothee’s hands on the back of his head, pushing down as Armie takes him in his mouth for the first time. Timothee’s fingernails scratching down his back as Armie pushes inside.

It feels like an eternity and a moment at the same time. When they’re both spent, bodies sick and sweaty, Armie gently kisses the tip of Timothee’s nose before slowly rolling off and away. “Armie.” Timothee’s voice is hoarse as he reaches over to touch Armie’s back. “Please don’t.”

“Don’t what?” Armie closes his eyes and tries to regulate his breathing.

“Don’t turn away from me…pl-please.” His voice catches on a sob and Armie quickly rolls back over to face him. Tears are running down Timothee’s face.

“Timmy…oh, Timmy.” Armie cups his face in his hands and kisses him. “Shh…don’t cry. I’m not. I’m not turning away from you. Never.” 

“I don’t…I don’t want you to hate me for this. I don’t want you to feel that I…forced you.”

“Like you could force me.” Armie pushes himself up a bit to make himself look bigger, smiling down at him.

“Not like that. Guilting you into it…” Timothee sniffs and wipes at his eyes. “If you feel for me what I feel for you…you would do whatever I asked. Because I know I’d do that for you.”

“No. No, Timmy. I wanted this. I promise. I just need you to tug me over the edge a bit.” He kisses Timmy’s forehead, his damp cheeks. “It was incredible, and I regret nothing.”

“Good.” Timothee takes a shuddering breath. “Crying? Jesus, sorry.”

“Don’t be. I love how close to the surface you hold your emotions.”

“Let’s take a shower,” Timothee suggests. “And then I promised you dinner.”

“All right.” They get out of bed and head for the bathroom. Armie grabs Timothee’s hand and pulls him close. “Thank you for this.”

Timothee simply smiles up at him and kisses his chin before turning back around.


End file.
